Wishful thinking. Pew surveyed the associations between people’s self-reported social media use and how stressful they perceive their lives to be, but it did not attempt to determine how Internet and social media use affects stress levels. The Pew report did find that “women who use Twitter, email and cellphone picture sharing report lower levels of stress.” But we have no idea if there is a cause-and-effect relationship. Perhaps the low-stress women Pew surveyed have more leisure time, which both lowers how stressful they perceive their lives to be, and also gives them more time to send their friends pictures from their smartphones, and to post to Twitter. Or perhaps these women were feeling the positive effects of communicating with friends. That would be consistent with 150 years of research that has found a person’s well-being is best predicted by the breadth and depth of their social ties. Knowing this, we can ask how social media can strengthen our real-life relationships. Perhaps sending your sister photos makes you feel closer to her, especially when she comments and sends photos of her own in return. Plenty of research would back up the notion that the love and closeness you feel during this picture exchange really could lower your stress in a measurable way. Many people report a similar positive effect from posting on Facebook. The same goes for reading an article posted to Twitter that makes you feel engaged and curious, or viewing a particular artist’s photos on Instagram that inspires you. These are all instances where social media can foster positive emotions—and positive emotions reduce stress, help us relax, give us energy, and lend our lives meaning and fulfillment. On the other hand, you might notice that your email or social media use is making you feel bad about yourself. Comparing ourselves to others, while natural, can make us feel envious and unhappy. Does social media use make you feel like you aren’t measuring up? Or does it make you feel isolated? Neither of these feelings will make your life better. And, as so many people know, constantly checking email or feedback status throughout the day can exacerbate your stress. When researchers Elizabeth Dunn and Kostadin Kushlev regulated how frequently research participants checked their email, for example, those limited to checking their email only three times a day (vs. an average of 15 times) were less tense and less stressed overall. Social media does have the power to make us miserable and stressed out—or to help us feel love and connection, joy and gratitude, inspiration and curiosity. The key is to understand how these technologies influence our emotional lives, and learn to use them strategically. To reap the benefits of electronic connection, try these three strategies today: • Check email intentionally, not compulsively. Designate three specific times today that you’ll read and respond to your email, and keep your mail application closed (and alerts off) at all other times. • Decide on a few places where you will ban your smartphone use. (Consider starting with the dining room table, your bed, and the bathroom.) If you don’t have your phone in the same room, you’ll be a lot less tempted to check it. • Use social media and email to strengthen your real-life relationships. For example, each morning, send an email telling someone what you really appreciate about them. This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. See the original article.
title: “Take Control Of Your Tech Habits” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Rebecca Mayer”
CHALLENGE: A flood of data, info, news, gossip, messages, humor, and requests can overwhelm us and make us spend more time online than we want. STRATEGIES: In the information blizzard, it’s not possible to keep up. Accept that. Choose your sources wisely, budget the time you spend there, and when you feel your mind tiring, move on. Constant distraction CHALLENGE: You’re so caught up in checking and responding to email messages, texts, and phone calls that you have too little focused quiet time. STRATEGIES: Come back to your body, to doing one thing at a time and knowing why you’re doing it. Plan times and situations when you connect and times to unplug. Stick with the plan. Friends, partners stuck on their devices CHALLENGE: The people you want to spend time with are too busy spending time with people who aren’t there. STRATEGIES: It may seem petty, but it’s essential to agree on when it’s acceptable for each of you to be on your devices and when it’s not. And with partners, it’s key to have times when you’re unplugging together. Social media anxiety CHALLENGE: The number of connections becomes more than you can manage and the friendships can get awkward. STRATEGIES: It’s so easy to say yes to social media. You might be left out, and a rising friend count can make you feel more connected, but just saying no can add space to your life. Children spending too much time staring at screens CHALLENGE: You can never get your children’s attention because they’re always absorbed in texting, social media, or web surfing. STRATEGIES: Accept your children’s digital life, take a strong interest in it, talk about it. Then, it’s a shared thing. You’re also in a better position to impose limits to screen time and social media habits, if you need to. This article also appeared in the August 2013 issue of Mindful magazine as part of a feature, titled “A User’s Guide to Living Well in Screenworld.”
